COLUMNS
Home
The Sky is Falling
Code Pink
Homeland Insecurity
Fire & Brimstone
Nonsense
Occupied Kalifornia
Parallel Universe
Sci Tech
Human Zoo

Worksafe Color Codes

Teacher's Pet

SPONSORS

 Use OpenOffice.org
Free Stuff
Sin City
rockbobster.com

 

Special Reports: How to Score with your hot teacher - Victory Gardens - Bill Gates fathers twins - Find a man for Condi - US Immigration policy pictorial - Don't Drink and Patrol - Minutemen in Vista - Spying on Americans

How to score with your hot teacher


Mary Letourneau

Pamela Turner

Sarah Bench-Salorio

Sandra Beth Geisel

Amber Jennings

Debra Lafave

SUPER-SEXY teacher Debra Beasley Lafave, 23, made headlines nationwide when she was busted for alleged sex romps with a student. AS A nation reels from the Lafave sex scandal -- a daring new book aims to help teenage boys become a REAL teacher's pet.

A renegade author has penned a controversial new book -- giving teens tips on how to seduce their teachers!

Religious and community leaders have roundly condemned the outrageous how-to manual titled, Nailing Miss Crabtree: How to Become a REAL Teacher's Pet. .

"All across the country we're seeing cases like that of 23 year-old teacher Debra Beasley Lafave, the Florida teacher who was arrested for allegedly having sex with a 14-year-old student," says a U.S. Department of Education official.

"The last thing we need right now is an 'expert' coming along to actively encourage these illicit affairs."

But maverick author Jim Hastleberry -- who claims his tips are intended primarily for high school seniors over 18 years of age -- insists that he's helping awkward youths through a difficult rite of passage.

"Assertive jock types always get most of the hottest teachers," the Lansing, Mich.-based writer says. "I'm just providing nerdier youths with some advice to help level the playing field."

Here are 10 of the main tips in the manual:

Choose a hot-to-trot target. A teacher who always shows off her legs in micro-miniskirts craves more male attention than she's getting at home.

Sit in the front row. You want Miss Hottie to notice you -- and to feel your eyes right on her cute tush whenever she erases the backboard.

Make eye contact. No matter how boring the words coming out of her mouth during a lecture, behave like you're entranced.

Act up frequently in class. Teachers who are open to flings with students are often closet riskaddicts -- and are more attracted to "dangerous" bad boys than to goody two shoes.

Take a dive on a test. It may break your heart to deliberately flunk a test, but that F can earn you some one-on-one after-school tutoring.

Bring her a gift. It can be as cheap as a container of Pez, but she'll appreciate the gesture.

Ask about her home life. After class, casually ask why she "looks so sad Controversial new book for teens offers . . . today." Then pretend to listen as she unloads about adult problems -- and hopefully, marital woes. Nod sympathetically.

Hit her up for a "cultural" date. Notice a subject she won't stop yapping about, such as art, then ask her to accompany you on an innocent outing to a museum.

Offer to pay -- even if it's only for an ice-cream cone. That signals that you're ready to be the "man" in the relationship.

Go for it. Tell Teach you're crazy about her and want her to be the one who takes your virginity, even if you've been with plenty of girls before.

With any luck, she'll be flattered enough to give you a private "anatomy" lesson! Remember, you can get this great reward so keep your eye on the prize!!


Debra Lafave - Teacher

GO TO TOP OF PAGE